I don't remember what happened in my life since last time.  Nothing exciting most likely.  So fuck off.  Here's what happened in Secret of Evermore though!

After I killed that big ass snake, some hippy dude gave me a mud pepper.  Apparently I needed this shit so I could use the alchemy skill levitate to move this stupid rock in front of this stupid cave.

 And holy shit, there's all this lava and shit in this cave!  And those stupid pink ass raptor things are here, fuck.

 Eventually, I find some sewer pipes that I need to traverse through, which was a huge pain in the ass.

 And eventually I arrive at this shitty furnace thing with that bitch Fire Eyes chilling there.  But wait a second! That's not Fire Eyes!  You can tell because her eyes are all evil and shit.

 This bitch then sicks her favorite pokemon at me, MAGMAR!!!!! Yep, this big ass dinosaur's name is Magmar.  Technically, this game came out before pokemon, so go fuck yourself game freak!

Fucking Raptor Dicks

So I haven't posted in a while, but I who cares, like one person is reading this right now.  And she hears about my bullshit as it happens.  Over the weekend my friend BJ was being a bitch, which is usual for her unfortunately.  Luckily she stopped being a bitch eventually.  We did drinking games at my friend Pip's place and then Saturday saw Iron Man 3 and the Mayweather fight.  Both kicked ass, even though my friends thought the Mayweather fight was a bit boring.  But people who know the ins and outs of boxing def would have thought the fight kicked ass.  Anywho, onto Secret of Evermore!

I finally beat those fucking pink dick fucks that killed me, and used their bones to make a spear!

So now I'm fucking everyone's day up with my badass spear, but first I have to go up to this volcano where some guy chills and somehow doesn't die.  

He taught me some alchemy bullshit or whatever, I kind of forget, and then I went and fought some hippo frogs, aptly named 'frippos'...

Poor puupy's dead, but she comes back and we go about some swamp thing...

And then all the sudden there's this fuck head!

Did I kill this bastard?  Did I suffer an agonizing death?  Did some bitch have her period all up on my face?  Tune in next week on Dragon Ball Z